Highlight of my week, We dressed up like clowns when we delivered clothes to the children.
¨La salvacion nunca fue gratis¨ or in English ¨Salvation never was cheap¨These inspirational words from Elder Jeffery R. Holland have really made an impact on me this week. Why is missionary work so hard? Why dont people come flocking to the baptismal font? Elder Holland explained in a missionary devotional that salvation never was cheap that even Jesus Christ said to the father remove this cup from me as he suffered in the garden and died on the cross. If it wasn't easy for Jesus Christ then why would it be easy for us?
Im not going to put any sugar on what missionary life is like. It is TOUGH and nothing easy. Before deciding to come on the mission I thought all of the warnings about health, testimony, and emotional well being where a little bit over dramatic. However, now that I have served for 15 months, I have come to a genuine understanding of the physical and emotional pain, stress and frustration that the mission can bring. Missionaries are constantly being pushed to the outer limits. I don't want to scare any one away from serving a mission because I know it was the best decision of my life, this in not my intentions, but rather to help you realize the precautions you have to take, and the preparation that needs to be made before coming on the mission. Here are some examples of what I mean. Physically my body is literally exhausted. My feet and knees, and legs get swollen everyday from countless hours of proselyting. My body is constantly in pain. Sitting down for a lesson to give a little half hour break to my legs is like going to a spa to relax. My backpack feels like it has gains weight everyday. Last night when I knelt down to pray, my companion woke me up an hour or two later asking me if I was still praying, I had literally fallen asleep kneeling down. I am beyond the point of physical exhaustion and mental exhaustion is right behind. Sunday night in the last lesson of the night I was so tired I started speaking in English and didn't even notice, the investigator looked at me like I was crazy.
Emotionally I am also drained. This ward is super difficult. Even though there are some golden members, many including some leadership do not support the missionaries. There is a lot of drama, and rumors abound. We are constantly receiving criticism about how we are working. We never receive a word of praise or thanks for the hours we spend on the wards behalf. I'm tired of hearing the excuses of the people. I'm tired of being rejected. Emotionally I don't know if i can take any more rejection. The past four baptism dates have all fallen through because the people decided to reject us, either they have family problems, excuses or simply just don't want it. It is difficult to watch all of our work be wasted. We are preaching the word of God and trying to help people make better lives through living the commandments. What other life could be better than a life with the help of God? The pressure of our leaders is increasing. They constantly find the faults with our work because there needs to be some reason that the investigatores are rejecting us. Spiritually sometimes I feel like God has abandoned us. I feel like I am pulling teeth to have the spirit in the lessons. I feel like we are working alone. The promise our president and our zone leaders made to us is that if we are working diligently and put in our part that God will bless us. ¨Yo el senor, estoy obligado cuando haceis lo que os digoñ mas cuando no haceis lo que os digo ninguna promesa teneis.¨dyc 82Ñ10 This week we surpassed almost every single key indacator. We are working with everything we have and I wonder where is God? Where are the blessing that are promised to the missionaries that work hard, that work with all the heart mind might and srength.
¨Tome su cruz y sigame¨¨Take up your cross and follow me... for whosever will save his life shall lose itñ an whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. Mateo 16Ñ24'25, 3nefi 12Ñ30, Dyc 23Ñ6. Jesus christ suffered for all of us. He suffered as he dragged his own cross up the hill oand as he spent countless hours suffering ing the Garden of Gethsemaei. The mission is hard, it never was and never will be easy. Sometimes when we feel physically, emotionally, and spiritually drained we just need to take up our cross, our problems, or pain and follow the example of Jesus Christ. Because the time of the second coming of Christ will come. And we dont have time to be tired, this is a pressured work.